Easy Ways To Ditch Your Girlfriend

December 21, 2011 16:05
Easy Ways To Ditch Your Girlfriend

Being honest is mighty tough. But let’s be honest for once. There are times when nothing seems to be wrong in a relationship.

If you are an apparently lucky guy, your girlfriend could be the highest ranking babe in the most wanted list. She might have the brains to outwit the best player of chess you have ever known. She might have Kate Winslet’s face, Uma Thurman’s height, Meg Ryan’s smile, Jennifer Lopez’s butt: a killing, rarer-than-rare combination. Her voice might be so melodious that, when she speaks, it seems as if Mariah Carey is on a song.

The problem: she is too perfect for your comfort. Or, even if she isn’t, something doesn’t seem to be working right. You need to part ways but don’t know how. So, what do you do?

Be busy when she is free: Have you guys worked out your weekly offs such that yours coincides with hers? No problem. Find some additional work to stick around at the workplace that day. Once, twice, thrice, that is all it will take to create an issue. An intense conversation later, let her know with simulated despair that things aren’t working out.

Invite guests as often as possible: Whenever she comes down to your place, make sure you have a buddy as a guest too. If she is immensely tolerant, she will suffer the intrusion a few times. If not, she will break up with you that very day. That way, you won’t even feel guilty about letting her down.

Find friends to chat with: Whenever the two of you go out partying, make sure you catch up with your buddies and chat about everything under the sun. She will get bored, initially. She will get bugged, thereafter. She will leave you, finally.

Create some suspicion: This one is the fourth wonder in this series. Try looking hassled when she sees you. If she asks you what has happened, stammer a bit to convey unease. When the boss calls you, step out of the room and whisper into the receiver. Then, come back to the room with an uncomfortable look on your face. A few such episodes, and she will flush you out of her life.

Breaking up need not be a consequence of occasional infidelity or, worse still, nymphomania. It can take place simply because two people are too different. When that realisation dawns, wriggling out is the only solution. That is not difficult, if you keep your cards close to the chest and play them right.


Being honest is mighty tough. But let’s be honest for once. There are times when nothing seems to be

wrong in a relationship.

If you are an apparently lucky guy, your girlfriend could be the highest ranking babe in the most wanted

list. She might have the brains to outwit the best player of chess you have ever known. She might have

Kate Winslet’s face, Uma Thurman’s height, Meg Ryan’s smile, Jennifer Lopez’s butt: a killing,

rarer-than-rare combination. Her voice might be so melodious that, when she speaks, it seems as if

Mariah Carey is on a song.

The problem: she is too perfect for your comfort. Or, even if she isn’t, something doesn’t seem to be

working right. You need to part ways but don’t know how. So, what do you do?

Be busy when she is free: Have you guys worked out your weekly offs such that yours coincides with hers?

No problem. Find some additional work to stick around at the workplace that day. Once, twice, thrice,

that is all it will take to create an issue. An intense conversation later, let her know with simulated

despair that things aren’t working out.

Invite guests as often as possible: Whenever she comes down to your place, make sure you have a buddy as

a guest too. If she is immensely tolerant, she will suffer the intrusion a few times. If not, she will

break up with you that very day. That way, you won’t even feel guilty about letting her down.

Find friends to chat with: Whenever the two of you go out partying, make sure you catch up with your

buddies and chat about everything under the sun. She will get bored, initially. She will get bugged,

thereafter. She will leave you, finally.

Create some suspicion: This one is the fourth wonder in this series. Try looking hassled when she sees

you. If she asks you what has happened, stammer a bit to convey unease. When the boss calls you, step

out of the room and whisper into the receiver. Then, come back to the room with an uncomfortable look on

your face. A few such episodes, and she will flush you out of her life.

Breaking up need not be a consequence of occasional infidelity or, worse still, nymphomania. It can take

place simply because two people are too different. When that realisation dawns, wriggling out is the

only solution. That is not difficult, if you keep your cards close to the chest and play them right.

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