Bonding with people doesn’t just feel good—it also helps you get what you want in life. Here’s the real deal: You may be talented and charming, but it’s the ability to click with anyone—your boss, that hottie, new friends— who can ultimately land you the promotion, a date, and strong BFF bonds. “Instant connections are very powerful,”

“In fact, studies show relationships that start this way can be even better and more meaningful than those that form at a slower pace because they feel like they were meant to be.” That’s why learning how to forge that simpatico thing with someone is an extremely profitable skill.

After reviewing years of research on what unites people, Brafman says that initiating chemistry is contingent on sussing out a few commonalities and capitalizing on them. That means sharing something personal (we’re talking unique to you, not TMI) so the other person reciprocates and a rapport becomes established. But to do that, you have to make them feel at ease and get them talking in the first place. Brafman has discovered three behavioral facts that can give you an edge when trying to become close to someone...and up the odds of connecting.

The Shared-Space Factor

People will subconsciously feel more comfortable with you when you occupy the same space, because it gives the pseudosense of being part of a little club, says Brafman. And it doesn’t have to be someplace confined, like an elevator. In fact, there’s a fine line between feeling cozy and entrapped, and the last thing you want to do is corner your target.

Any area that has breathing space but defined borders—like a kitchen or lounge—can register as intimate. So let’s say you’re trying to get in with your boss. Strike when you’re both in the break room, and share a bit of personal info (i.e., something interesting that you’ve done as opposed to the fact that you’re attracted to tall dudes), like how you’re craving the awesome coffee from the vacation you just got back from and ask if she misses anything from her recent trip.